The New York Experience

Who needs California?

"What's wrong with her? California is the place to be, man!" is what you may be thinking. (Or what I may think you are thinking, judging by my anxious disposition.)

As a more reserved, less "out-there" Californian, I felt as if this state is not where I belong in comparison to those who stay. I am not saying California is filled with more outgoing individuals, but if it doesn't feel right, it's just not right.

Anyways,

Last week, I travelled across the country to what is New York City. I have been there before. I've thought it was nice and "city-like", as what my adolescent self would and would only describe it as. Add my future to the equation and it alters...well, everything.

Oh, did I mention my first stop was New Jersey? Most of my days there looked like this:

**Not saying Jersey is a yawn, but
my mentality reveals itself

But I'd like to congratulate my lovely oldest sister who recently got married there this last week! She's also the reason for this post AND trip -- ergo, the reason for my New York madness.

Hello, New York

After a beautiful wedding in New Jersey, our first stop was my uncle's apartment in Queens (to which I dedicated my time to the scenery from the balcony).

Yes, this made it to Instagram.

Queens was alright. I mean, hey, it's New York. But the city of Manhattan was the culprit. 

This made it to Instagram as well.
And if you must know, @har_monic

I had forgotten about the glitz and glamour of Times Square. Plus, hot dog stands at every corner? It had me at "hot dogs", then again I might be going to far. And who could resist drunk, one-eyed and slightly feminine Barney raving about photographs for a dollar? A bit sketchy, but New York City stole my heart. Kind of like a low-budget romance film.

However, this one takes the cake.

Yes, it did too. @har_monic

Fun fact: Les Misérables is my favorite musical...ever. But more on that later.

I have recently developed an interest in everything that is Broadway.

So Ali and I vow to see every single musical out there. Given the proper circumstances -- time...money... We don't know exactly how this will happen, but the Lord works in mysterious ways, so why not?

Also, The Book of Mormon is #1 of our list right now.

Our last stop was Central Park. 

Maybe I'll edit this one later ...I'm tired.

As I was sitting on the bench with my parents, with my NY hot dog in hand, a young couple with their two kids were walking by:

The little girl said to her dad, "We don't have a backyard!"

To which he replied, "Yeah, well you get this entire park as your own!"

Central Park was and still is a beauty. And I wouldn't mind having it as my backyard either!

Also,

Fun Fact: Doctor Who is the first love of my British TV lifestyle. So if you ever want to engage in a conversation about this quirky show, well I'm at your disposal.

If you are able to understand what I am referring to, keep reading.

You may recall the touching season 7 episode "The Angels Take Manhattan", they filmed it right in Central Park back in 2012. So... I'm just going to leave it as this:

Same bridge.

Same seat.
(Well, I realized after I took this that he
was sitting near the OTHER end of the bench.
Therefore, I apologize for the invalidity of this picture.
It was trial & error WITH a time limit here!)

So, 

I'm flying back to New York and never coming back. The end. 

(Oh, and Alice & Jordan are officially my new roommates. They are quite lovely individuals.

And Brandon Stanton. Get ready to take my picture.)

your newly acquainted New Yorker, Monica(:

Old Ways & New Doors

I'd like to start off on a more serious note.


The later half of my senior year has been quite the roller coaster -- problems of the heart, problems of the grade, problems of the future. And with it came problems of the mind, almost to the point of apathy.

Additionally: On March 16, 2014 at (around) 5:30PM, I received the worst phone call one could possibly have. My sister had passed away -- but more on that later.

Months have gone by, to which I had dedicated my thoughts to the pessimism that is within, leading me to countless scenarios that I never wanted to dwell on.

But what was originally an act of ignorance turned into yet another personal revelation.

As the ancient cliché goes, the world has never, is not, and will never revolve around me. Or my problems. Or yourself, or the next guy, for that matter. 

We all go through the motions.

The Motions

I have always allowed my world to revolve around other people, my problems, and myself. I enslaved my loyalty to things that I believed would provide me a lifetime supply of happiness, ignoring the uncertainty of life itself. And well, if I couldn't have whatever it was then my future was, ironically, doomed. 

I trusted in my own intuitions. I trusted in the intuitions of others.

Consequently, that never worked. I knew it could never work too. I allowed history to repeat itself until it would miraculously fall into place.

Now, imagine me reading a history book and criticizing the stupidity of some people. 

Oh, the hypocrisy.

Reality

In a nutshell, happiness does not come from specific sources. It comes from the experiences that all those sources can bring, without imposing the belief that it is the only happiness you are ever going to find.

Like said, I disregarded the uncertainty of this world. I have always feared the term "uncertainty", until the realization that "uncertainty" didn't had to mean negative consequences. 

Life goes on. There will be its ups and downs. Both are inevitable, yet both are necessary.

I say to myself, "Maybe I've just become a cynic? A pessimist?" I guess I got used to my old ways.

But that's beyond the point.

So yes,

The world I live in seemed a darker place. Of course, it did -- I had to understand that although it seemed to be, doesn't mean that it was.

Here's to the new doors, Monica(:

P.S. I understand it is agreed that this post is possibly already known and understood by you, dear reader. But I congratulate you for reading to the end of my rant. And for that, you deserve many medals.